Turning Madness into Magic - a real narrative behind what’s occurred and how I am finding myself bac
I don’t really know what to say at this point. I’ve been off the radar for a while. My hospitalisation in June has left me with a battered confidence and to be honest a bit of a state of depression. But I want to be real here and be real with my audience that I have been taking some time away from. Sorry for the disappearing act but I have needed to be at one with myself.
Alcohol played a major role in my unravelling. Knowing that I am a super sensitive intuitive and that my return to drinking after 11 months Sober was not the smartest of ideas. I thinks it’s important that I be honest about this factor so that I can champion the importance of Sobriety and also discuss how Alcohol can lead to Alcohol induced Psychosis (the reason I went into hospital).
This hospitalisation is different to the last one for me and my approach to Spirituality has completely changed. I am still easing my way into certain practices and to be honest, going Galactic is not something I feel entirely comfortable with. More earth-bound grounded practices are my main focus and center point at present.
I have nothing to say yet everything to say at the same time. I am ashamed of how I am not the joyful bubbly person that I am known to be to so many people. But there are ways I am reclaiming myself and getting my joy back while I nestle up here with my Mum in the beautiful bay of Islands.
Taking it easy on myself whilst coming to terms with being back on heavy medications. However since my Alcohol induced psychosis and burnout I am slowly getting my equilibrium back and the medication that was used to support me during this very unwell period has been simplified and reduced. This medication can be a bridge to support, much like a plaster when you have a broken leg and it can be a really important part of your healing and I think it’s important to recognise this. Because while the brain can fire the right neural chemicals when you are well, when you have been through an intense unwell period certain neurons don’t communicate with each other anymore and assistance with this can be required. As my doctor said, “You can’t medicate life and sometimes we have to accept and flow with the journey we are on.” A lot of my life is changing and I have to accept the parts that are leaving and look forward to the things that will grow.
MAGIC mornings are my current go to after some kind inspiration from Mum regarding how they can be implemented and used.. - Meditation, Affirmation, Goal, Inspiration, Co-creation
Meditation - Guided meditations are my Go to at the moment as I focus back on Self-love. Loving myself again after really losing my confidence.
Affirmation- I wrote out 5 pages of Louise Hay self-love affirmations today and I intend to put them onto an audio file and read them aloud to myself 5 times a day at the moment to regain my confidence and rewire the brain.
Goal - Set a goal and an intention for everyday. It can be something small like watering the garden. Playing with cards and felts, painting something in the shed or for me, it’s writing this Blog.
Inspiration - Find someone that inspires you and watch a talk of theirs or read some of their content. Maybe it’s someone who has overcome what you are currently working on. For me at the moment, it’s self-love so Louise Hay content is my current go to thing.
Co-creation- Co create with the universe. Draw a card from an Oracle Card deck. Meet up with a friend you value. Co-create with Nature and go for a walk and try to find flowers that speak to you or signs along the way.
Movement is really important as well. I love Yin Yoga and reciting Mantras to myself as I hold the poses. I’m getting back into my walks too.
Last night Mum and I watched a wonderful talk by Doctor Joe Dispenza on Gaia
about how we can rewire our negative thoughts in the brain by creating new Neural Pathways with repetitive new action of different behaviours. This is what I choose to focus on at the moment.
I also did some morning pages today and I thought I would share what I wrote so I can show the powerful benefit of using this practice to overcome negative thought patterns and just let what flows through the page come through.
“Today I feel better knowing that I am on my way to recovery. I am getting better and I choose to inject myself with Self-love and Rise above anything that is not enabling me to fully feel that way. I forgive myself for past transgressions against myself and I know I can heal from this circumstance and fully regroup. I love myself deeply and completely for who I am choosing to become. Someone with full independence. Someone without fear, who chooses love. Someone proud. Someone who is seeking hope, pride and prosperity. I release anything that is wanting to go, knowing that something even greater is coming in to fill it’s place. I surround myself with love including loving thoughts about myself and loving thoughts about others. I choose to love and respect my environment. I treat my body as a temple”
This is just an example of what can be reflected as you channel your higher self and bring your aligned consciousness energy through.
That’s all from me for now, just wanted to pop in and give a little update around where I am at and how things are tracking for me.
I’m really excited to be getting back into some of the things I love including my dream interpretation email readings. Email or PM me for more details on those.
With much Love, Appreciation and Gratitude to all of you for the patience.
Hopefully some of this will resonate with those of you who may be struggling too. If it does resonate, please share.